It’s everywhere – the hearts and flowers, couples walking hand-in-hand and kissing on Marine Drive, date nights in restaurants, romantic offers, soppy movies that turn all TV channels into Romedy Now… Valentine’s Day is one big mushy mess of emotions that you as a single feel like gagging on. And if it doesn’t make you gag, it makes you sad. You wonder when it will be your turn to find love. All you really want to do on Valentine’s Day is curl up under a blanket and eat chocolates. Lots of them. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s how to survive being single on Valentine’s Day.
Says wellness coach Ramona Mordecai, “One of the most beautiful aspects of being single on Valentine’s Day is [that you can] take stock of where you stand from what has happened to you in the past. It’s a great day to analyse your weaknesses, strengths and learnings to know how far you have come from the experiences of [relationships from] the past. But the most important Valentine’s Day lesson is to feel your readiness to love again.”
Adds ascension healer Anjali Lavania, “I am a complete romantic at heart and believe in true love and being with The One. But there’s no point in letting society make you feel miserable for being single. You’d rather be single than sorry. A lot of relationship experts teach people how to make someone miss and crave them—but why do you want such people in your life, to begin with? I prefer teaching people a healing technique to lead a balanced life by focusing on tapping their highest potential on a daily basis, which balances their body, mind and soul.”
Rather than depend on a partner to make you feel better, consider what you’d love to do, but don’t have the time for. Whether it is getting into the bathtub with your favourite book and a glass of wine, going to the spa and getting a full-body massage, eating an entire pizza by yourself, or going on a solo vacation, this is the time to do it. Make the most of this moment.
Explains Lavania, “Spend Valentine’s Day (or any other special day) with family and friends who truly value you. Don’t chase after people, affection or attention. Be the best you can be – the right people will be attracted to the real you and will want to stay by your side WITHOUT you having to try too hard. It is human nature to crave love and attention where it was once given in abundance—but when that is taken away most people start chasing after it instead of stopping and thinking why this person is playing games with my emotions.”
Celebrate Galentine’s Day Instead
If it’s good enough for Parks and Recreation’s Leslie Knope, it might be good enough for us. She describes Galentine’s Day as “ladies celebrating ladies”. So get all your single girlfriends together and spend the day drinking sangrias, watching soppy rom-coms and exchange gifts with each other. Alternatively, go to a bar or nightclub and dance the night away.
Another feel good step to take is giving your time and volunteer for a cause. Volunteer at a children’s home, donate your old clothes, play games with seniors at an old-age home or even give some time to a gurudwara kitchen. Little acts of kindness go a long way in keeping you happy – plus, you’ve done something good for the community. Says Mordecai, “On Valentine’s Day, make a list of [what you want to feel] in return of your expression of love [such as feeling happy content, grateful]; start expressing your love to those in your environment, and see what works.”
Remember That You Are Not Alone
Did you know that you are just one of 60 million people around the world who are single at the moment? “Download Tinder,” says an article on Thought Catalog, “if only to see how many other people are using the app in a last ditch effort to couple up. See! You’re not the only one who’s single! Besides, the little ego boost you get when there’s a match and somebody thinks you’re cute is enough to beat away the Forever Alone blues.”
Work Up a Sweat
So what if you’re not working up a sweat between the sheets? You can still go to the gym or to yoga class for some much-needed exercise and get in shape. This will also release your feel-good hormones, aka, endorphins and give you that confidence boost on your next date.
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