It’s done, the good people of the United States have spoken, and Donald Trump is their newly elected leader. For what it’s worth, the madness is over and we can go on with our lives and worry about issues closer to home – like finally making that trip to the bank and exchanging higher denomination notes. Not to sound too dramatic but this is the end of an era as we know it. No more taking cues from Michelle Obama’s envious wardrobe and strong principles, no more admiring Obama’s cool-guy charm as he addresses a nation in a sharply-cut tux. With a new president comes a new set of reforms. We’re not too clear on President Trump’s—yes, get used to that—agenda yet, but, under his presidency, these are the fashion trends we’re likely to see. Are you ready?
Concealing, Not Contouring
So what if the markets crashed within minutes of the announcement? We predict a healthy rise in the FMCG section, mostly because under-eye concealer sales are likely to go through the roof. Like Hillary Clinton’s emails, dark circles are best left hidden, buried deep with layers and layers of pancake concealer. The whiter the better, obviously.
Bronze Lives Matter
While men’s fairness creams will definitely see a surge, it is the bronzer that will serve as the ultimate power tool. You want to look white but not Ku Klux Klan-white. A healthy dusting of bronzer—in a shade of tandoori-chicken orange, obviously—is what’s keeping you from being outright racist.
Boxy Cuts It
Remember those sleek charcoal suits Obama carried off so well? Say goodbye to all that. Soon, Trump’s favoured boxy-cut navy suits will be de rigueur. Because why wouldn’t you want to look like you came back straight out of the 80s’ when the last POTUS made history as the first African American president? Forget 2016, it’s all about #TBTs and going retro.
In the past, many politicians have given up on the formal attire—cufflinks, ties et al—in favour of a more pared down look. President Obama went on the even ditch the jacket on several occasions and roll up his sleeves because he had some serious cleaning up to do. Now that Trump’s in power, we foresee a lapse. Ties will be mandatory, especially his line of Trump Ties* in red, paisley and other patterns we’ve seen in American Psycho.
*Made in China
Toupee or not Toupee
Obama’s eight-year-long legacy includes increase in employment, legalising same-sex marriage, forestalling deportation of minor illegal immigrants, regulating greenhouse emissions and strict views on gun control. Now, while we can on wait and watch to see what Trump’s presidency unfolds, this much we know for certain – his (hopefully) one-term long legacy will include much talk of building a wall, and a huge comeback for toupees. Maybe not in this order.