My Timeline has been flooded today with pictures of the massive promotional event for the new Vin Diesel – Deepika Padukone movie, which was held yesterday at High Street Phoenix in Lower Parel. From what I can tell, quite a few of Bollywood tinseltown made it to the event, which was attended by thousands and thousands of sweaty fans pressed so close together that it made Dadar station at rush hour seem like the cure for claustrophobia.

Scrolling through the pictures of the event, I learned that Nucleya was the opening act, but he was soon surpassed by the musical stylings of the drop-dead gorgeous Deepika Padukone haphazardly donning a lungi and grooving to the Lungi Dance song while Vin Diesel watched on bemused. Say what you want about Bollywood, but at least we never pander to the crowds like this *cough*

Naturally, I wanted to find out more about the movie they were promoting, so I fired up Google and unthinkingly entered ‘XXX movie’ into the search bar. And now I’m surely on my IT Department’s watch list for being the sort of person who attempts to watch porn at the workplace. I was aghast! But that was also because this wasn’t the first time I’ve been careless with the office Internet. Since I began working at #QueMag, I’ve had to quickly close browser windows before. There was the time I was reading up on Andy Warhol’s work and decided to Google ‘Blue Film’, or the time I wanted to know more about Dick’s Sporting Goods, so I took a punt and put www.dicks.com in the search bar. Luckily, DSG seems to have bought the domain since then and now you’re redirected to their official website, but try telling that to the IT guy who gave me dirty looks whenever we passed each other back then.

In order to save you the embarrassment of falling prey to a prank by what I can only imagine are a bunch of 15-year-olds in a Hollywood boardroom, here’s what you need to know about XXX: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE (which is the ONLY way you should Google this film) before you go to watch it in theatres today: Elite government operative, Xander Cage, comes out of self-imposed exile to defy death with the kind of insane stunts that made the first two films so popular. That’s all you really need to know about this over-the-top action film. Oh, and in case you haven’t heard already (hah!), Deepika Padukone stars in this one.

Like this article? Also read: We Don’t Know How To Feel About Jackie Chan’s New Crossover Film

Cover Image Courtesy: YouTube Screengrab

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