Bollywood earned its nickname by infamously copying major Hollywood movies for years, but the West seems to have finally put their foot down when it comes to blatant remakes of their movies. Not to worry, however, since we found a workaround for that, too, and now we have the latest trend of ‘official remakes’ which ensure that the cash keeps flowing in.

The legendary Rambo series is the latest to get an official Bollywood remake, with Tiger Shroff resurrecting the role of Sylvester Stallone from the original. But, soon after hearing the news, Sly said he was worried about Bollywood “wrecking” the film.

I read recently they are remaking Rambo in India !! .. Great character.. hope they don't wreck it .

A post shared by Sly Stallone (@officialslystallone) on

Soon after, he took back his words and tweeted encouraging words to Tiger

But that got us thinking – is it possible for Bollywood to ruin Rambo? We think that’s almost certainly going to happen and here’s why.

The Dancing Elephant in the Room

Even though the director has said that the film won’t have any song-and-dance sequences, it really isn’t in his hands if the studio demands that he includes some. Even a very realistic film such as Kapoor and Sons had a party song shoved in, so it’s hard to see this movie being cleared without any of the Bollywood’s extravagant item numbers, which are so typical of the big releases in this country. And it’s going to be incredibly difficult to takeRambo seriously if Tiger Shroff switches off from the trauma of war to do his rhythmic gymnastics for five minutes as one of Bollywood’s ‘it girls’ share the stage with him.

Is It Time for the Kiss Yet?

The original Rambo didn’t have a romantic interest until the sequel and that romance was short-lived. But this is inconceivable in Bollywood. Come on, let’s just accept that this is going to happen. There’s no way that brave Rambo won’t be “rewarded” with a woman who’s completely in awe of him. Romance is such an integral aspect of the Bollywood action experience that the final kiss at the end of a film is something the audience has come to expect and demand.

Change the Enemy and You Change the Movie

In the original Rambo series, John Rambo is a Vietnam veteran who returns home to a country that just doesn’t seem very homely any more. He’s driven out of town by a tyrannous sheriff and then spend the rest of the first film waging guerrilla war against the police and, eventually, the army.

This is inconceivable in today’s India. We’ve barely had any major film releases in the last three years which have been critical of the government in a significant way. And since the studio has stated that the movie will follow the life of the last surviving member of an elite covert unit of the Indian Armed Forces, who returns home to discover a war waging in his own land, we can safely assume that the enemy isn’t going to be the government in the remake.

The original film was great because it made Americans sit up and think about how their government might be trying to pull the wool over their eyes.

We Demand a Happy Ending

We go to the cinema as a means of escaping our everyday lives. It’s just how things are in India. So, it’s only fair to expect that our films give us a chance to escape into a happier place. We don’t know how that’s possible if they keep the original ending of Rambo: First Blood, in which Rambo is captured by the army and then put behind bars. Tiger Shroff and the studio behind this film might want the film to end with Rambo being celebrated as a hero, which, if it happens, could will rob the remake of the emotional impact of the original – a film which provoked us to think about whether the powers that be are really looking out for us common citizens.

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